


we're not friends

by midnightweeds



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (very subtly w ref to the culture), Angst, Confessions, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27111511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightweeds/pseuds/midnightweeds
Summary: Tsukishima looks up in surprise. “Congratulations,” he offers, voice solemn. “You deserve it.”Kageyama smiles, nose scrunching like a child’s. “Thank you...when I found out,” he sits back in his seat, fingers carding through his hair. He watches Tsukishima’s long, thin fingers continue to attempt to rub out the water spot, his aching to twist through them. To fit his hand into the blond’s and feel that terribly comforting and mortifying flood of emotion that comes with being known.“I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t. You’re the first person I’ve told.” His gaze flicks up to Tsukishima’s. “You had to be.” He feels his face go warm at the realization that Tsukishima Kei has a lot of his firsts. More than any one person should really have.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 6
Kudos: 102





	we're not friends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sissannis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sissannis/gifts).



> i forgot how good it feels to write blb wow thank you annis
> 
> [we’re not friends](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjCztSJ4cHsAhUyYTUKHUPFDcAQyCkwAHoECAcQAw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DjQKgb4Vqp68&usg=AOvVaw0PBtJJh6-xuxZC79Xi-fOe) came on while i was writing this and it worked uwu

Kageyama draws his fingers over the back of Tsukishima’s hand; dark blue eyes focused as his hand settles next to the blond’s. When he doesn’t pull away, Kageyama does it again, drawing over thin skin and curving over knuckles to brush his fingers against the backs of Tsukishima’s. He flinches, but he doesn’t pull away, and Kageyama hooks their index and middle fingers together before finally looking up to see Tsukishima staring.

“Careful,” he says, but his mouth is soft and his cheeks are just on the other side of flushed.

Kageyama smirks, a soft, breathy sound escaping his lips in a mixture of surprise and disbelief. “Or what?”

Tsukishima’s fingers tighten, brown eyes narrowing, and Kageyama isn’t sure if it’s a warning or a dare; so, he continues to smirk, pushing further as he drags his thumb across Tsukishima’s fingers- once, twice. Again and again until finally the blond pulls his hand away, tucking it beneath the table as he stares blankly at his former teammate. They both know that they’re no different than a pot and kettle, and it’s as comforting as it is disarming. Because it’s hard to hide when the truth lines up like that.

“What are you playing at?”

“I’m not,” Kageyama says, brow creasing. “You know me better than that.”

Tsukishima sighs, sitting back in his chair as he continues to stare, and Kageyama does his best not to fidget. Instead, he lets Tsukishima have a moment, looking around the coffee shop as he licks his lips clean of the coffee he’s drinking. In retrospect, this isn’t the best place to have this conversation. But he’d promised himself he would do it the next time they were alone together. Before it’s too far beyond too late to do it anymore.

He looks back at his companion to see that he looks no closer to whatever it is he’s waiting for. Tsukishima swallows when their eyes meet, and Kageyama takes a deep breath in before stretching his hand out toward Tsukishima, palm up on the table.

Tsukishima stares at it as though it’s a gun. Locked and loaded. As though Kageyama asked him to pull the trigger at either of them. And it’s funny, really, because it  _ is _ social suicide. It’s a lot to ask, but it’s the only question Kageyama has left. For now, at least. He’s sure it’s the only one he’s ever really wanted an answer for.

“We can’t keep doing this.”

Kageyama closes his hand, fingers curling loose against his palm.  _ It isn’t a no. It isn’t a no _ .  _ It isn’t a no. It isn’t- _

“I can’t keep pretending.”

“Neither can I,” Kageyama tells him, a little too quickly. His eyes search Tsukishima’s, but he’s never been good at reading the situation. Not off the court. “I can keep a secret, if that’s what you need. But I don’t want to pretend anymore, either.”

Tsukishima’s eyes fall the Kageyama’s hand and the setter wonder’s what he’s thinking. If he’s remembering the start of third year, when they held hands for the first time, but sometimes it’s the only thing Kageyama can think about.

“We’re not friends,” he hears himself say, heart skipping a beat when Tsukishima’s eyes snap up to him.

“No. We aren’t.”

His mouth thins for a moment. “We aren’t lovers, either.”

Tsukishima’s eyes widen, and Kageyama can’t really blame him. Not considering what they’ve been to each other since their fingers twisted together in the quiet of a bus ride back to school.

“It’s neither of our faults, but I...I’ll take responsibility for it. For the past. Because I’m selfish and careless.”

“Oblivious.”

He half laughs. “Ah- yeah. That, too. But, I...I want to be both of those things to you.

“And I understand if the risk isn’t worth it for you, but I couldn’t keep holding onto this secret. Not when I’m certain I see it reflected in your eyes. Not when…” Kageyama’s nails bite into his skin before he says, “Like you said. I can’t keep pretending any night with you is nothing more than what it is at face value.”

Tsukishima’s hand returns the table, thumb rubbing at a watermark. “Why now?”

“I’m going to Rio.”

Tsukishima looks up in surprise. “Congratulations,” he offers, voice solemn. “You deserve it.”

Kageyama smiles, nose scrunching like a child’s. “Thank you...when I found out,” he sits back in his seat, fingers carding through his hair. He watches Tsukishima’s long, thin fingers continue to attempt to rub out the water spot, his aching to twist through them. To fit his hand into the blond’s and feel that terribly comforting and mortifying flood of emotion that comes with being known.

“I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t. You’re the first person I’ve told.” His gaze flicks up to Tsukishima’s. “You had to be.” He feels his face go warm at the realization that Tsukishima Kei has a lot of his firsts. More than any one person should really have.

“The eyes of the world are going to be on you in less than a year and you want to tie yourself to me?”

“I’m not ashamed, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Tsukishima’s jaw flexes. “Neither am I. But, that...that doesn’t…”

“Hey,” Kageyama softly interjects. “Despite what you may think, I’d never ask you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.” He swallows, accepting the fact that the conversation was nearly over. He isn’t really sure why he expected it to amount to anything. Tsukishima is following his dream the same as he is. He’s no right to get in the way of that. “Perhaps this was selfish of me, too. But I needed to tell you. Needed to let you know the truth.”

“You’re doing a good job of proving your worth the crown, King.”

Kageyama laughs, propping his elbows on the table and rubbing tired at his face. “Fuck you, man,” he says, but it lacks any bite. And before he can think of how even to follow up, he feels cold fingers on his hands, pulling them away from his face, and brown eyes invade every millimeter of his conscious as though they’re conquering something Kageyama can’t understand.

“Is this really what you want?”

“More than anything, Kei. I...I’m sorry it took so long.”

Tsukishima nods once, letting go of Kageyama’s hands and getting up from his seat. “It remains a secret, for both our sakes. I’m holding you to your word, though.”

“Good.”

“Good,” Tsukishima repeats. “Let’s go.”

“What? Where?”

The blond sighs, grabbing his drink. “Somewhere I can kiss you in peace, obviously.”

Kageyama gets up, tilting his face to look at Tsukishima. "Eager, are we?”

“Don’t you think you’ve kept me waiting long enough?”

Kageyama smiles softly, grabbing his drink off the table. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“You can’t make up time lost.”

Kageyama smirks, a slick pull of lips over teeth that he usually reserves for the court. It buys him enough time to lift his free hand, fingers curling around the side of Tsukishima’s neck as his thumb runs the length of his jaw. “I love you. Move in with me.”

_ “What?” _

He brushes his jaw one more time, the caress slow and deliberate, smoothing over the ridges of his bones as though memorizing them. “I love you,” he repeats, pulling his hand away. “Move in with me.”

“I heard you the first time, idiot,” Tsukishima hisses as they leave the shop.

“What? Then why did you ask?”

“Kageyama, I-”

They stop at the end of the block. “Say it back,” Kageyama tells him, voice gentle despite the weight of the request. “Mean it.”

Tsukishima searches his face and Kageyama prays he finds what he’s looking for. Because he’s absolutely fucked if he doesn’t.

“I love you,” he says again.

Tsukishima laughs, shaking his head. Kageyama watches as he looks up at the sky, the light catching his whiskey eyes handsomely, but Kageyama doesn't have much time to reflect on it because suddenly those eyes are back on him.

His fingers curl around Kageyama’s shoulder, his tongue passing over his lips just before he laughs again, this time sounding far freer than he had before. “I love you, Tobio.” He squeezes his shoulder. Once, twice. A third time, fingers pressing deep into the muscle. “Yeah. Holy shit. I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> x, weeds


End file.
